list

Donate  body
Cremation

scatter where  You will visit or I will a value

No need to prolong anything. You don't need to worry. My body is done when it is done. Waiting won't change that.  We made it to here and beat the odds.how many times over unlike compound savings each odd is alone

each measures that probability if we are out we are out. it doesn't  make sense to het worke up on a better outcome focus on all we accomplishe celebrate that we our best AND got farther than often seemed possible

Stupid growths did not know that they killed themselves in the process of invading me.

The car slam was I think a step in shaking more g b m seeds all around  in that we were defeated from the get go.  Beyond our control.  Hate that it happened but can't find the best way to hate the fact that it happened.   

Be as careful as you can be but in the end you have to live for life to be good. Look for the good. Make the happy happen.  Be relaxed about stuff. 

Like corm boil it is over on Sunday night just get through it.  Everyone is doing what they can to follow the plan. Hot and tired as they are .if they are dancing their own tune. Address it at the next meeting.  The event works best when all work the group recognizes that each part contribute to the over whole  .  Every one comes to CB  with their own fun in mind.respect this. it works eventually they will value it in a tangible way taht makes more sense to you.  Good will who they share the message with that is WOM advertising and worth every effort at the price of doing a good event

My blog Is intended to be a help.  Please update from my draft emails. Maybe alison moore can help here. They are my thoughts and reflections on the life I enjoyed so much. Thank you fof sharing it with me. You surpassed yourself. Keep it up for me.please. our families need you whole my memory relies on you.  Coninue to keep me safe. Love me.

the to do list will never be dpne I continue to have a plan
Done and giving up are not part of the story. Not until my story  is too much to be good for you . 

It is also our story and our battle. 

You are a gallant hero. My prince.  My rock. Faithful companion.  Better than any lead in any book or movie I ever saw.  My own towel.Lover man .

Dec 2015 where we are now

Began Chemo and Radiation November 17 30 day cycle with Temodar for 42 times covering the non- radiation days as well.

In treatment this deep due to  New Growth visible in 2 MRI's Sept and Larger in October.  The new guy is  blood hungry and hangin over my Brain stem.  Of course I am a deviant from the norm.  Often rGBM is near the original site. Reaching out from remaining tissue.  Me? PNT  growth in the cerebellum as I  mentioned brain stem.  removing any surgicaloptionan any access is a greater risk for damage than fix.

Thankfully the original site seen with growth had cleared on Avastin which was a difficult journey.  bI Weekly IV treatments. 6 SCHEDULED in aug and Sept GOT THROUGH 5 then moved to the new plan.


Adding to the excitement Thanksgiving family stuff; making sense of it sorting things; consolidating life; journalling as much as possible.

The more dependent on others I become the more acutely I feel loss of self.My world is shrinking in so many ways. Who will get me water? Food? clothes? to t6he table? They don't even get how I like my straw or that I like certain spoons or forks.  even to have papertowels handy.

I understand expressions on faces from the past ALL THE PEOPLE I ENCOURAGED to just try. Sometimes the try is all used up. strog bravve tough old birds do carry on. In my darkest hour to date I came to accept that others join the freny because they want me around as much as want to stay around WE BATTLE togther. THIS IS OUR fight.

Kindle the app

I am enamored with the Kindle app on my phone. How handy to have my current read always. available. at my fingertips. day or night.

My public library Overdrive contract is a handy way to keep books coming.  The limit of only 5 books on hold is my only area of complaint. Much like my library catalog option I'd prefer to place a bunch of holds and then suspend several until my reading time is available.  Perhaps. one day.

Meanwhile, you'll find me off in a corner enjoying a book.... swiping pages right to left while tracking the %  read and minutes until the the end of the chapter. 

Selecting a book to read

I've set a guideline for my kids picking books at the library. The message is to pick at least four books. Beyond that the limit is what "YOU can carry." After all, I have my own books to carry!

The first, among the four books they need to bring home, is a non-fiction book. It pays to know more about the way of the world. To read a biography introduces one to the fact that your life has great potential or that your life is not that bad after all. A book about a different place in the world expands your horizons. A book about a country can show you how geography, culture, foods, family traditions make a place unique. Often, this kind of book can also show a young reader how much we have in common, no matter where we live in the world. A good read on invention, development, or technology helps a child at least appreciate, if not understand, how things function. This may foster a lifelong appreciation for how good we have it. After all, who among us, cares to lug water from the creek; dig a latrine; give up television?

Two of the books need to be books that I would approve of. This means books they can READ and books that also challenge them. If they read at a third grade level a first grade book will not do. I've shown them how to recognize an award nominated or award winning book. They have favorite authors. We talk about finding another author that writes like one they like. They work to find other books that have themes, or are in a genre, that they like. I love our grade school librarian, Mrs Slaker, for a variety of reasons. The top reason is that she made G- E- N- R -E a fun word, an everyday word, a word that means something to a reader.

The final book I have my kids select is one that they think we would enjoy reading together. In making this selection they have to think of others. Because we talk about genre and authors they have learned to listen. Everyone in the family has an appreciation of the likes, and dislikes, of the others. Think how valuable that was one day when I asked them to "get me a book, please." This selected book gives us reading time together. When they were young, we read this selection aloud, as a big huddle of listeners, on the couch. As the kids have grown older we've lost our reading together time. I miss it, and they miss it, too. Now we take turns reading a book and then discuss it. It works, but it is hollow. I relish the times when one of us will say, "You've got to hear this" and we pile on the couch. It it big, loud, and brash, but oh, so enjoyable.

Frontier Stories

I've always liked pioneer stories, stories of girls on a wild frontier. Some books stay with you, no matter what. this is the tale of one such book.

This attraction is likely a result of my Great - Grandma Lucy. She was a young girl on the plains. She traveled the Oregon Trail. She made it to Chimney Rock, Nebraska. She had a book of autographs and quotes from the her school chums. We would sit and read from the book. The book was kept in her back bedroom closet on the high shelf. It was the one thing special I asked for from her house after her passing. I was heartbroken when my Grandfather said there was no book. I was given her framed Chimney Rock. It remains a treasure.

Years ago, with a young niece, I recalled reading a favorite story about a girl and her friend at a creek. The boy taught her to carve. No luck locating the book then, no matter who I asked. The search fell to the wayside. Again, I have young nieces and they enjoy reading frontier stories. The book is back on my radar, and I have made a break through in recalling a critical word, willow. I now know that the book was The Willow Whistle. Meigs.org, a family genealogy of the author states: "But her stories are always something more than historical fiction. Each one carries a theme idea for any generation. Indeed, Cornelia Meigs manages frequently, in [her] stories of the past, to illuminate certain problems of the present." I'd say so as the book has stuck with me for all these years.

Next step, using ILL to locate a copy to read.

Worth Repeating

Some books are so good they deserve to be read twice. Some books should be read because at different stages in your own life the book has a new message for a reader.

Today I completed a second reading of a book - because once begun I KNEW I had read the book, but for the life of me could not recall HOW it ended....

My conclusion...
Sometimes a book will find you, because you NEED the message it has to share.

Update:
Today I completed a second reading of a book because I wanted to experience the story, again.  The Giver, by Lois Lowry, is a young adult novel set in a dreary future.  Everything has become the same in efforts of security and security.  This sameness has eliminated the need for memory and thought.  Everyone acts and reacts in expected ways.  Hills have been smoothed, color has been extracted, weather has been controlled.  Everyone is assigned to appropriate life tasks at the time of their twelfth year.  In this process, Jonas, is selected for a unique position.  He must accept a role outside the boundary of same.  In becoming The Receiver of Memory Jonas learns of pain, grief, hunger, and war.  He also learns of color, snow, rain, family and love.  In receiving these gifts, Jonas begins to question the ways of his community.  The value of sameness.

This book is part of a trilogy and now, a fourth title.  I plan to re-read the trilogy to be prepared for the title "Son," which was published this year.

I stand by my original conclusion. Sometimes a book is in your life just when you need the message it shares.  Jonas, as he learns the meaning of family and love, seeks his family as he now understands them.  Sadly, his family is not available to him, as they have no understanding of the emotions that bind us.

Reading Mood

Just wondering aloud about how what you are reading can "put you in a mood," as much as how you are feeling can impact on what you choose to read.

Books that are part of something MORE

Some books and stories as just SO good that you wish that they were part of something more...

I hate the sinking feeling that comes with the end of a GOOD book. The knowledge that somehow, in the next few pages this story will be OVER. At that time, my time with this group of friends will come to an end. Sure, much like a great vacation, or your favorite memory, there story will remain there for the visiting and connecting with things newly read. Sadly, the time of discovery and the "how I am reacting" with their story will be done. I will know all that the author chose to share with me. What I continue to make of the story will be up to me.

Books in series, or with sequels, delay that moment of separation. Bless the author that has chosen to continue to share with me the "further adventures" of our common friends!

For all the time in the world to consider that for every favorite book, for each good read, there might be another one out there waiting for me to discover it. Oh, I am anxious to begin that journey and put my abilities to the test as I seek out the continuing possibilities.

Talking a book

There is a great art to talking a book.
Sharing a title that hit you just so is easier...

• if you can recall the details over time
• if you can tell enough to convey why it was good or interesting
• if you can do the above WITHOUT giving away too much
• if you can recall the author

Wandering the shelves or using an online tool : library catalog or google search can provide a book cover image which can help. Generally speaking this if process is easier if you work on it. Memory jolts can help. Just like writing a to do list helps to cement it in your mind. Writing a three line review can help your recall on a book. My efforts this year:

January
Garden Spells by Sarah Addison Allen
The story of two sisters each running from their warped version of their shared past. They discover, when circumstances throw them together, that in making the efforts to save each other, they are able to heal themselves. Having a special garden is just an added bonus!

A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
The modern history of Afghanistan as told from the day to day perspective of an outcast woman. This story will give you a renewed appreciation of all the things we take for granted.

February
East by Edith Pattou
This a young adult book offers a new take on the Beauty and the Beast story. Perfect for an icy cold day it involves travel throughout Greenland and the Scandinavian countries.

March
"The Lightning Thief" by Rick Riordan, a book for young readers and readers that are young at heart. Percy Jackson is having troubles in school and at home. His mother sends him to a summer camp where he learns that he is a demigod. He and his new friends set out on a quest to prevent a war between the gods...

April
"Beardance" by Will Hobbs .
This book continues the story of "Bearstone" an award winning book for boys and girls.
Both books are set in the wild mountain area of Colorado at the continental divide.
Cloyd has a connection with the bears but it seems the more he tries to help them, the more trouble they face.

"Small Steps" by Louis Sachar.
It is a sequel to "Holes" and tells the story of Armpit and his life after Camp Green Lake.
The central message from his parole office is to take change in small ways, or by small steps, then life won't overwhelm you and sweep you away. This lesson is tested when a national pop star singles him out for love.

October
I just finished reading "Just Ella" by Margaret Peterson Haddix. This version of Cinderella is a tale of an independent girl making the most of circumstances beyond her control. There is a logical explanation behind every one of the "magical" elements of the Cinderella Fairy Tale. Learn why her father married such a shallow woman, understand the glass slipper and the need to leave the ball by midnight, and think twice about the prince named "Charming." Read this book to remind yourself that there such a truth as "happily ever after."

On "reading" audio books

On the radio the other day they were debating if listening to an audio book for book discussion group should "count" or not. Today I read an article asking the same question.

While listening to the radio I wanted to call in and say ...

"Does it matter who does the reading? Does a parent reading to a child discount the experience of reading? Does a reading buddy, spouse, teacher, or librarian reading to an individual or group not count for them as reading the book? I think not."

"I feel that "reading" an unabridged audio book counts as reading the book, just as much as if your eyes had looked at every word. Do the individuals using the services of the Library of Congress National Library Service for the Blind and Physically Handicapped (NLS) not "read" their material? It seems that the people running the program believe they do, after all they use the tag line "That All May Read . . ."

"So, in my opinion it is necessary to experience the message of an author via his/her words to qualify as "reading." This is what happens when you hear a full, complete version of a book. Taking the words of the author and melding them with your history is what makes the experience real for you. You like, or dislike, the book because of the way the message is made meaningful to you... not because of the way the message was delivered. To argue audio v. print, in my opinion is an odd a concept. Do you debate the merit of content in making the decision of paperback v. hardcover, no, you expect the same complete set of author words in each format. An audio book is just another format for delivery of the author message."

"A condensed version, movie, or abridged version of the words of the author merely convey the message of the person doing the condensation, movie, or abridgment. To this I say "it does not count" as reading. It is just sampling."

"By the way, I prefer the format of hardcover, to paperback, over audio book. My favorite experience is having a loved one read to me!"


When I read the article I knew I has to "speak up" and share my opinion on the topic.

Getting off on the RIGHT Foot

Having access to books, choices of reading material, and a mentor to guide an early reader through successful encounters with books is KEY to getting off on the right foot.

Reading Evangelists

"Finally, I wonder that we shouldn't somehow see ourselves as reading evangelists, each carrying around a bag of relish reading seeds to be planted on the fertile field of our future, the minds of our youth." I love this quote and would like to give credit to the individual responsible for setting me off on my task of sowing those reading relish seeds...